Ghalib Ghazal in translation

First Published in Museindia

(Translated from the original in Urdu)

Why should it not be full of pain,
merely a heart not a hard block of stone?
We shall cry ourselves a thousand times,
take jibes at us, why should anyone?

Not temple nor mosque, the Kaaba or a harem,
neither at a doorway nor a tomb or entrance.
We sit at common trodden pathways,
why remove us O unknown?

She, of the heart warming beauty,
resplendent as the noon sun.
Herself a vision to blast all others,
then why hide in a veil, all alone?

Piercing coquetry, bane of (my) life,
stinging endless arrows of pride.
Why would it come in front of you,
even if the image be your own?

Imprisoned by life or captive of grief,
both of them are one and the same.
Can man before death, in life itself
ever find all his sorrows gone?

Beauty and, with it, self estimation,
saved my lusty rival from indiscretions.
She had confidence on herself,
why then would she try this glutton?

There, she is arrogant and brimming with pride,
here a humble humility about ourselves.
Where do we meet on the streets,
why'd she invite us to meets of her own?

Yes I know she does not believe,
given she is unfaithful even.
Those who prize faith and fidelity,
to her lane, why'd they be shown?

Without the broken Ghalib, this world,
would surely not come to a stop.
Why cry so bitterly then,
why make such a pitiful moan?




The original ghazal in Urdu

Dil hi to hai na sang-o-khisht dard se bhar na aye kyon
royenge hum hazaar baar koi hamein sataye kyon

Dair nahin haram nahin dar nahin aastan nahin
Baithe hain rehguzar pe hum ghair humein uthaye kyon

Jab woh Jamaal-i-dilfaroz, surat-i-mehr-i-neemroz
Aap hi ho nazaarah soz, parde mein munh chhupaye kyun?

Dushnae ghamzah jaansataan, naawike naaz bepanah
Tera hi aqsi rukh sahi, samne tere aye kyun?

Qaid e hayat o band e gham asl mein donon ek hain
Maut se pehle admi gham se nijat paye kyon

Husn aur uspe husn e zan, reh gayi bul hawas ki sharam
Apne pe aitmaad hai, ghair ko aazmayen kyun?

Waan wo ghuroor e azzo naaz, yaan ye hijab e paas e waza
Raah mein hum milen kahaan?bazm mein woh bulaye kyun?
Haan wo nahi kkhuda parast jao wo bewafa sahi
Jisko ho din o dil azeez uski gali mein jaye kyon?

Ghalib e khasta ke baghair kaun se kaam band hain
roiye zar zar kyaa kijiye hai hai kyon?

2 Poems in the 2nd National Poetry Fest, Guntur, Anthology

Knowledge

One day
offended
I did not speak to you Dad
I knew, you, I pained
But what I did not know
then, was
that you’d revenge yourself
in absence,
never to be spoken to
again.


22 February 2009
9: 15 PM


If I could write this in fire


If I could write this in fire
so hot
For it to be etched on the very sinews of your heart
such that ’twould be frozen there for ever
That it could scorch your eyes
so no one else, evermore, would you read
have eyes for no other; the ones that read me last
That it could char your whole skin
so none would look at you
and I, only I, remained with your touch
fragrant with the odour of your sweat
gleaming in your infernal glow;
rekindling each day in my own sanctuary
those smouldering coals of lost memories
reading, re-reading,
such words-
inflammable.

Then, only then, would I say
Yes, indeed, I can write.


“If I could write this in fire”- is the name of an anthology of Caribbean literature.

Poem written sometime around late 2008- early 2009.

Poems published in A Posy of Poesy, an anthology issued by JKC College, Guntur as part of their Second National Poetry fest.

An article on the same:

In the hindu

Some other poems in the anthology:

Tikulicious

Nabina

Untitled

UNTITLED

First published in "The Stephanian" 2008

It is a tale
that began the night
the temperature was to dip to zero,
when under the shade of the stars
many, we talked for hours two
when under tall deodars
I first spoke out
and patiently You heard,
and acquiesced

when winds from the Caucasus
cocooned us around
barren freezing streets
uttered barely a sound

still, music there was in the air
that we only heard
a few late chrysanthemums
we alone saw
the smell of the Night-princess[1]
came only to us
as watery winter vapours in
the air we two licked
and together felt the warmth
of our own little bliss.





When each night
in my room, at my desk
I sat to write,
looking at You
in the bed
not pearly white
but with a dusky beauty
all Your own,
I conceived conceits
really stolen from You
that you unawares
lent out to me
making me pregnant, when
You had refused to be.





Your each affectation,
Your gurgling laugh,
inarticulate sounds,
the orange kurta you had on,
your sleepy face in the mornings
in Your urgent causes-the delight
You took, in equating
men, cats and mice.





Days when you would
not talk to me
You atheist, I religious
You Feminist, this F-word
I never endorsed.





Moments
when at me, You confidently smiled
as I shyly dared look
into your deep eyes
as we shared our stories
of Your childhood delights,
of ducks and Disney’s
of my Dad’s demise
of the new play in town,
of Your growing renown.





There were also the nights
When You dragged me to bed,
Away from my dear inkpot and the rest
and You were creative
and You explored
new vistas of art, knowledge
Love and more.





But tonight was the night
when I looked up from my text
found the bed empty
and called out Your name
and called it out again and again
You were not in the house
not the terrace, the lawns
as I reached the kitchen
it looked all forlorn
as if you hadn’t been there
for some time;

but you were there with me
when I last rhymed
and you had always been
there with me, in my
writings- as my kin
my very soul, my sight,
from You my rantings
had so much imbibed.





But where were You now
as I looked up and called?
our house not as it had been
since the first day You had moved in,
You were as clean as I was dirty,
You’d even got ME to wash,
pushed me in the shower,
kept a naughty watch.





But where were you now
O my creative muse?
as I go back in time my thoughts confuse,

What had indeed happened on that night?
when it had been cold enough
to fear frost-bite
when I had spoken out, and so had You,
what were Your words?
I cannot now hear,
I see your lips moving
minus any sound,
do you turn back then,
and go back inside?
as I stood in the snow
waiting for it or for you
to abide.

I now think the poem should end here, though it has been pubslished in the Stephanian with the following stanzas that now seem redundant in a tautological manner.



But then,
how is it,
that You were there
all the time
always there when I wrote,
having kept Your work aside,
You had sat with me
or in front of me lain
I could see your toe-ring
On your dangling leg
Your breast’s rising and falling.





It just can’t be true
-what they all say
that these walls are not my house
I haven’t been there,
for years now,
that you were indeed
never there,
but for my mind…

I AM NOT MAD
They all speak false,

I just know
realities,
(that they don’t),
of a fairer kind.





5:46 AM 2 Feb 2008
[1] I have used a translation of my own for a jasmine like flower called “raat ki rani” in Hindustani that exudes an overwhelming and very pleasant fragrance at night. I found the Hindi name expressive and poetic enough not to ignore.

For it is you who put me in heat

It is always (and only) you
who turn me on
It is always (and only) you
who turn me on
With your first touch
and your icy caress
When you brush against my lips
your windy tresses
As you glide by
giving me
goosebumps
When in your bosom I am
and hid is the sun
As warm vapours escape
my open mouth
And your musky mist
does me surround
It is you indeed who make me hot
And every year put me in heat
Oh, the coolest, my very own,
My very own
The winter of Delhi!

22nd of November 2008

Wrote it while studying the Wasteland, i guess when "winter kept us warm" and after having read a poem someone linked me to: You bring out the UP wali in me

They Have Dried Up

It is true,
indeed, she’d never been mine,
yet,
somehow did for me
what Bhagirath,
long back in time.

It had really flowed
each day, each night, each hour
every minute
quenching prosaic fields,
where I reaped rich,
blossoming fragrant flowers by the side,
with me as constant gardener,
sometimes little pansies of a few lines
purple
once a huge chrysanthemum,
a mellow yellow
another time, a lily- white
fragmenting which I’d play
“she loves me, or does not”

I have tried to build dams
to always gain control
to use to my advantage
channelise the flow
but ’twas its own master
rather I the thrall
not it at mine
but I at beck and call

Omnipresent, Omnipotent
it was my new God
this new Brahmaputra, this new Amazon

But then one day
it changed its course
began rubbing its sides
causing breaks in banks

I ran about frantic
to do best as I could,
but it was as if Thetis
I not half The Man.

What could I do as it fled away?
untie-able, nobody’s prey

It has left behind,
in its wake, just one lingering life
very desolate,
all my companions- my breathing words, my flowers
They have dried up!
as I now create
these with paper
origam-ous ones, that do not live
no smells exude.


3rd March 2008
12:10 PM, quite soon after waking up.

Ballimaran*

Said Ghalib,
’twas not his destiny
to be one with his beloved*

My lover too
Lives across his house
Is it something in the air?



Written at 4:01 AM, January 6, 2008
*Ballimaran is the locality in Chandni Chowk where Ghalib’s Haveli stands even today.
*"Ye na thi hamari qismat ke visaal-e-yaar hota"